The Song On Her Lips

Of Love and Sex

Everyone’s doing it, why would it be so bad?

It’s not the be-all and end-all of morality.

That is so judgmental.

They’re not doing anyone any harm.

They’re just expressing their love for each other.

Oh come on, it’s just sex.

That is so old-fashioned. The times have changed.

Those who do not sin should cast the first stone.

I’m not a bad person.

Sex feels good. Why would it be bad?

It’s my body. I will do anything I want to do with it.

But I love him/her.

To be answered in my next blog.

The Little Seed of Calling

I want to believe that God placed this desire in my heart like a Gardener planting a little seed full of love and hope for the little seed’s future growth. If I look at the status quo, it dictates that apart from the natural elements and my Gardener, it has no visible chances of growing. But that is if I live by sight. I choose to believe in the elements around me. These elements are the circumstances and things that would equip me of the things I need.

Water to shower me with knowledge and experiences I have to arm myself with.

Sunlight to help me process the knowledge and experiences I’ve encountered into spiritual food.

Soil as the church that would help me keep firmly grounded in faith.

Then I have my Gardener. My Gardener is the God who watches over me and makes sure I have all that I need. My Gardener cultivates me. He nurtures me with Fertilizer to make my growth faster and healthier. This fertilizer can take the form of godly friends, surprising incidents, or just about anything He thinks as good. My Gardener sees the potential in this little seed of desire. He visions growth and strength and a fruitful future. He also visions the future seeds from the future fruits of the little seed. These future seeds He’s also going to plant in the hearts of other people that would get hold of the future fruits of the little seed. That is how my Gardener sees the future of the little seed.

This little seed SHALL grow to bear much fruit.

You’re keeping me awake!

It’s exactly 2 in the morning and I was about to sleep to get some complete rest so I could get energized for tomorrow’s study session. But, I don’t know, my brain works in mysterious ways and it has this tendency to welcome new and fresh ideas when I’m about to call it a day and rest. Evidently, right now is the perfect time it has invited me to write down revelations I’ve been trying to process for several days now. I decided to give in to its requests (or more of like nudges) and to try to write down what it has come up with.

I warn you, my dear reader, that this is an impromptu writing and it may contain peanuts. Kidding! Well, what I seriously mean is that this is a free-flowing entry and it will certainly not touch on only a single topic. (Good job, brain. You’re pretty weird) Okay, here goes! :)

Number one. God loves to communicate and He can reach out to you in many, various, creative, and unexpected ways. Lately, He has been trying to instill in me this thing that I’ve been having a hard time to accept because it involves controlling my feelings, words, actions, and even thoughts, towards this guy that I like. Personally, it’s sad because I’m getting close to this conviction that God does not want the guy for me. I was initially in denial and I was thinking that maybe it’s just me being judgmental. ‘Cause I have this list of non-negotiables and I have to honestly admit that the apple of my eye does not possess some of the really important standards I’ve listed in there. But because my heart is stubborn, I tried to make excuses for him. However, God managed (not surprised at all) to find other mediums that He could use to talk to me, i.e. through the people who genuinely care for me and have good basis to back up their statements. These people I confided in told me to guard my heart and to start giving up the feelings I have for this guy. Their reasons I just won’t divulge here. It was pretty uncomfortable at first because I was used to this former behavior of mine to just go with the flow and do what my heart tells me. I was never the type to maintain mystery and reserve my feelings. I was the expressive type. To tell you frankly, doubt as to its credibility still knocks on my door. Then just a few hours ago, while I was browsing through the Facebook Timeline of this Christian woman I really look up to, I saw a status update from one of her recent posts. She quoted her husband (who is a pastor) and it goes like this: “I don’t need to lower my standards, God will give me a spouse.” It’s short but straight-forward. It totally reached my heart and delivered the message at its doorstep.

The temptation has been trying and persistently convincing me to lower my standards so I could entertain the prospect of us having a future together. What’s next? If I give in, maybe it’ll proceed to convince me that it’s no big deal if I make the first move. The temptation is trying to make me surrender my principles little by little, step by step, and it’s starting to tickle me with sweet imaginations until I finally loosen my ability to hold feelings altogether.

The devil is really a cunning thing. I figured you out, you evil badbadbad devil. Shame on you.

God isn’t finished yet. While I was again randomly searching for a performance by this singer I like, I was amused to have discovered that the song she sang was “You Can’t Hurry Love” by The Supremes. It’s a nice conclusion to God’s argument. He has wrapped up His case in a very persuasive manner which made such huge impact on me. I admit that I am not completely finished with my feelings towards this certain guy. But at least right now, God has made it clear to me what He wants me to do. He wants me to be still and not put my love life into my own hands. If it is His will, as quoted above, God will give me a spouse. Not just a guy. But a man who is my spouse.

Today, I was really reminded to be alert. God speaks through many ways. We need to always observe what He tries to tell us. If you’re like me who tends to doubt whether or not the message comes from Him, don’t worry and He will surely make it clear to you that a message is certainly God-sent! If it’s all right, please pray for me that I may obey His will now that He has made His message clear to me. Thank you!

Now on to the next matter.

Number two. Never ever bring your arguments with your spouse/parents/boyfriend/girlfriend/sibling/friend or anyone with whom you have a close relationship with in any social networking website. Don’t let people feast on your relationship issues. Don’t even give them a hint. You don’t need people making speculations and judgments concerning you and/or the other person and the relationship you two have. Most importantly, it’s your way of loving that person. You protect him/her from judgments. Romans 12:10 says, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

I have this mistake many times in the past and I really regret bringing out the argument on a hot plate served for everyone to feast on. Everyone had a fine time devouring it. And I felt good about myself because those people actually sided with me. Well, you know what, that was really prideful and selfish. It also shows how insecure I was that I had to make myself look like the better person, the more innocent one. My motives were wrong no matter how strong my arguments were. I didn’t really care about the other person. I just wanted to be right in the eyes of everyone. So insecure, right? I didn’t realize back in those days that it was only before God that I should present my case. It’s all that matters.

However, it’s okay for us to consult and ask for insights from people we trust. That’s a different thing. But it’s also a different thing to make the other person look like the bad guy and you, the innocent one. Check your motives. Foresee the consequences. Do these things in view of honoring and loving one another as Jesus has commanded us. :)

So I guess that’s about it! I have already shared what God has revealed to me today. I am utterly grateful for His grace. Day by day His wisdom puts me in awe and I’m excited that He is filling me up with passion to speak His Word the best way that I can–and yes, no matter how flawed I am. God bless us all and may we bless Him more! :D

Pending

This is entitled “Pending” because this blog had to wait for 11 days before its completion. It started when I was reading my daily devotional and felt that the passage was really apt for my current situation. So I started to write. I was pretty sure I knew what I was saying at the start of the blog, but later on while I was being carried away by my thoughts while typing I suddenly stopped. I had no idea what to say next. I didn’t know how to justify my belief. I realized I still lacked understanding. Humility101, everyone.

Because of the unexpected drought of understanding (or to put it differently, ‘lack of wisdom’), I just labeled it as “Pending” because I intended to finish it, I just didn’t know how. I did not directly pray to finish this blog but it was my desire to complete it by the time I gain ample understanding of the topic–at least enough understanding for my level of spiritual maturity.

God is so good that He led me through the past several days to understand what I was struggling to grasp and convey. Now I have completed the blog entry. Below is not really a great and articulate blog but rather an expression of why my heart is rejoicing right now. It is my pleasure to share it to you. :)

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April 1, 2013

Today I want to share this verse that inspired my daily devotional. I find it both rather amusing and moving how almost every devotional relates to my current emotion, thought, or experience of that particular day.

Today, God reminded me:

“The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear Him. For He knows how weak we are; He remembers we are only dust.” -Psalm 103:13-14

I am not perfect. No one is. There are some days when I totally hate what I am doing but still I proceed anyway because it is enjoyable. During those times, I tell Him, “Let’s talk about this later, God. It can wait, right?” My God becomes a lover taken for granted. As I do my stuff, He waits beside me, waiting for intimacy. But I don’t really seek intimacy like He does; after I’m done with my stuff, I go straight to bed. I get too tired to pray.

This is just one of the many instances I ignore my God. The God who never lets go. What’s more is His mercies are new every morning. His love is overflowing!

God knows me. He knows what my weaknesses are. He knows what catches my fancy, what makes me weak on my knees, what distracts me, what makes me angry, what makes me impatient, what makes me ashamed–everything–He knows about me. He has a plethora of patience and kindness. And He has this unique method of disciplining His children. It’s a loving discipline.

His love is unconditional. He doesn’t love you because you’re a kind person and you could easily pass the ultimate Christian test. He loves you even if you’re not that good a Christian–and even if you’re not a Christian.

… … … (Ladies and gentleman, the impasse.)

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April 11, 2013

You don’t need to earn God’s love because He loves you from the very start. He is love per se.

It’s totally amazing how despite our frailty, He does not tower over us like a dictator but instead leads us to righteousness through love and patience. But what’s really funny is that I just can’t seem to relax despite of this knowledge. I am too critical and I get fidgety just at the thought of my next possible sinful act. I had to learn to this over time, i.e. that I have to relax in God’s grace.

I wasn’t able to finish this blog in one sitting. Why? Because I still didn’t understand what that devotional message meant. I just know it but I still lack understanding. I still feel very anxious whenever I sin because I still feel afraid that I would be loved less by Him. I am just so thankful that as I proceeded to face the succeeding days, God taught me about His love for me and for everyone of us.

I learned that I should never be afraid of being loved less by God. That will never happen. He will never love me less. God is the same God yesterday, today and tomorrow. His love will never falter because, as earlier proclaimed, GOD IS LOVE.

Early this morning, I understood things better when a message was revealed to me while reading the book of John. After Jesus washed His disciples feet, He told Peter that he shall deny Jesus three times. Jesus knows our weaknesses and He knew Peter would be overcome by his desire to protect himself even if it meant denying to be associated with Christ. But even so, Jesus loves Peter and He will continue to entrust him with a great mission in the future upon his repentance. It felt so secure that Jesus is capable of so much love. Peter committed such a shameful sin and yet the moment he revealed his heart of sincere repentance, Jesus did not think twice of embracing Peter’s heart and soul. Jesus did not love him less. It was quite obvious in the succeeding events of Peter’s life that he was dearly loved by the Almighty. :)

However, God’s unceasing love and grace should never be used as a “ticket to ride” the thrills of sincapades. It was pretty hard for me to learn that over the years–and until now. Whenever I willfully treat God’s love and grace as a ticket to ride a sincapade, I always come home to God feeling exhausted and ashamed. I guess this is something that I will have to learn and understand my whole life since there is no chance that I would be completely sinless.

I am just really happy right now that day by day, I learn more about Him and by reading His Word, I get to somehow grasp the infinite vastness of His love and wisdom. This blog right here is probably just a tiny portion of what I have yet to learn and understand about this area (thus, the title). But just the same I’m really blessed that I have begun to understand what love and grace meant to Him! This is only the beginning of a wonderful journey! :)

 

Some say it’s already late to change whenever the particular situation which used to call for it had already come to pass. But in practical reality, it is never too late to change. There are people, things, and situations in the present and future that need and will need the change in you. The past is dead for it is no more. But the present is here and the future awaits.

If we could just stop judging each other, if we could just stop proving who’s the better man, if we could just refrain from pointing fingers, if we could just be more patient with each other, if we could just be humble enough to confess our sins to each other, if we could just instead start being accountable to each other as brothers and sisters, then maybe, just maybe, we could live together in love and harmony.

Clear the stage.

Clear the stage and set the sound and lights ablaze
If that’s the measure you must take to crush the idols
Jerk the pews & all the decorations, too
Until the congregations few, then have revival
Tell your friends that this is where the party ends
Until you’re broken for your sins, you can’t be social
Then seek the Lord & wait for what He has in store
And know that great is your reward so just be hopeful
‘Cause you can sing all you want to
Yes, you can sing all you want to
You can sing all you want to
And still get it wrong;
worship is more than a song
Take a break from all the plans that you have made
And sit at home alone and wait for God to whisper
Beg Him please to open up His mouth and speak
And pray for real upon your knees until they blister
Shine the light on every corner of your life
Until the pride and lust and lies are in the open

Then read the Word and put to test the things you’ve heard
Until your heart and soul are stirred and rocked and broken
‘Cause you can sing all you want to
Yes, you can sing all you want to
You can sing all you want to
And still get it wrong; worship is more than a song
We must not worship something that’s not even worth it
Clear the stage, make some space for the One who deserves it

Anything I put before my God is an idol
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol
And anything I can’t stop thinking of is an idol
And anything that I give all my love is an idol

‘Cause I can sing all I want to
Yes, I can sing all I want to
I can sing all I want to
And still get it wrong
And you can sing all you want to
Yes, you can, you can sing all you want to
You can sing all you want to
And still get it wrong; worship is more than a song
Worship is more than a song
Worship is more than a song
Clear the stage and set the sound and lights ablaze

If that’s the measure you must take to crush the idols

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